Porch Sitting

I didn't sleep well last night. It hit me this morning that it's been 9 months that Randy has been gone. How has 9 months gone by already?

This time of year was one of Randy's favorites in Tennessee. The pollen has finally diminished to a tolerable level, the humidity hasn't set in yet, and the day time temps are so that the air isn't running constantly. The perfect time of year for porch sitting. Randy introduced me to porch sitting. He, of course, was a professional, having had many years of practice. On Fridays and Saturdays, we'd grab our drinks, the speaker and the dogs and head outside to the porch. There we would sit, listening to country music, some songs louder than others, until it was dark. Sometimes we'd talk, but the the majority of the time we'd just listen to music and enjoy each other's company. Randy was impressed with Gypsy's porch sitting from the start and told me she was a professional along with he and Sadie. I think I came pretty close over the years. 

I remember the 1st time we porch sat after his diagnosis. He was pretty quiet that evening, lost in thought. He told me that night that if he didn't survive the cancer he was okay with that - he'd done a lot in his life, and accomplished more than he ever thought possible. He was by no means giving up, and wanted many more years here. As Clint Eastwood said in "The Outlaw Josey Wales" Randy was going to "get plumb, mad-dog mean. Cause if you give up then you neither live nor win. That's just the way it is".

Sometimes life doesn't give you what you want and you have to figure out how to move forward. There are days that it's like moving through quicksand. Sometimes it's a song or a smell that will take you right back to a precious memory. 

We started porch sitting with 5 of us (including the dogs of course). It may be that it's just Frackie and I physically on the porch now, but I know that Randy, Sadie and Gypsy are always with us.