Chanel No. 5


It finally happened. I'm out of Chanel No. 5 perfume. I've always worn Chanel No. 5. I've tried other perfumes but just don't like them (even though my sister thinks I smell like an old woman) This may not seem like a big deal - you're thinking Jenny, just go buy another bottle. But it is a big deal. Randy bought it for me on our last Christmas together in 2023. He ventured all the way to Chattanooga to buy it for me - he even went into the mall! He gave it to me in a big heavy box. As I opened this big box and saw my 20 pound kettlebell inside, he started laughing. I could not for the life of me figure out what he was up to regifting my kettlebell until I saw the smaller box inside. He was so proud of himself!

That's what happens when someone dies. You run out of things that were bought by them or for them. I remember holding on to some of his food well past the expiration date just because I didn't want to throw it out. I finally cleaned out the bathroom cabinet with his expired medicines - I've been leaving the cabinets open so my pipes don't freeze (since someone forgot to tell Mother Nature I live in the south) and figured it was time. Tossing Tylenol that expired in December 2024 is a good thing, right? I am keeping the gauze and wound dressings though - you just never know what I'll get into in the house or yard, and there are power tools here. 

As we entered into 2026, I also realized that 2025 was the first full calendar year without Randy. As time passes, I've started remembering a few things that were probably too painful to think about in the first months after he was gone. Like all couples we had inside jokes. I've found myself chuckling when I hear someone say something that one of us would respond to with our "line".  I came home from Atlanta yesterday and Frackie was watching me. I said to her "are you waiting for me?" and I swear I heard Randy reply "darlin, I've been waitin' on you my whole life". The memories are different now than they were a few months ago, and make me smile more than weep.



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