Six Months

Somehow 6 months have passed since you left. There are days when it feels like yesterday that I woke up with you, heard your voice, kissed you - and then there are days that feel like it was forever. 

My thoughts lately have been about the projects that we did together. It's hard to believe that 5 years have passed since the world shut down. Randy and I spent a good deal of the pandemic in Tennessee. Neither one of us could go to the office so we needed something to keep us busy. We were having the logs replaced in our house, so Randy & I decided to undertake our own project (while the professionals were here, just in case) by installing hardy board siding on the 2nd story of the house. I think Randy's favorite part of the job was the lift that we rented to reach the 2nd story. He was like a little kid and loved going up in that thing. Me on the other hand, who is afraid of heights, was not a fan. It must have been love for him to be able to talk me into going up really really high in the sky. It was hard work, and admittedly some of our cuts were not perfect. There were some gaps in the siding that we tried to caulk, but it's been almost 5 years and that doesn't last forever.

Last week the contractors started covering some of the bigger gaps in the siding - our goal is to keep the outside out, and the inside in. I've asked them to fix a few other things too, things that were on Randy's "to do" list, things that I have no idea how to fix. He always had a list going. He'd finish one list and immediately think of 5 other "projects" to put on a new list. So it's been hard having others do the work that Randy & I would have done. Honestly I had no clue what I was doing most of the time, but I followed instructions well and knew enough not to lose a limb or an eye. We won't even talk about when Randy decided to fix some of the lose screws on the roof peak and used a ladder, rope and dumbbells to get up there, with me watching in case 911 was needed.

I hope that Randy is happy with what I'm doing. It's been hard to make some of the decisions by myself, but I have, and little by little, I'm finding my footing again. But today will suck, and Valentine's Day  will also suck (because Randy always sent me flowers, no matter where he was). I will take it one day at a time (maybe one hour at a time), cry if I need to and remember how much he loved me. 








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